I grabbed the bags from the car, crossed the parking lot to greet him while my roommate continued on into the house, and when I saw his posture I paused. Tee is happy to help out her close friend and coworker, Slyvia, when she becomes sick. I encourage you to find even the smallest, most immediate platform you have to tell your story and use your voice. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) | Something Was Wrong. Their pain is still painted in subtle strokes across their social media posts. . Genuinely curious), especially in light of his critical comments on alcohol. Popular shows today. Without something to work toward, we wither. The weirdness would wear off and wed have a blast. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something was wrong. He didnt just splash those people; he completely drenched them and had to have ruined their days. The first season deals with a young woman named Sara who was in engaged to a man who she later found out was not who he claimed to be. Otherwise it just reveals a lack of character.). It was take me back to the beginning. I wasnt sure why. Its a beautiful song, but it isnt on my short list of repeated favorites. While I see major positioning and personal growth happening, and how God rescued me from an incredibly dangerous situation, Ive felt forced to wait, having lost a life I loved through no fault of my own. Fall has always been a favorite. (I remember a breakup years ago where I showed up to his house ready to set us both free, and when he immediately called it, I threw him off by breathing a huge sigh of relief and saying oh thank God through happy tears. Better to go unnoticed than not measure up. He was so soft. If you're into true story podcasts, give this one a try. Use the prompts, write for 5-20 minutes each day and youll be amazed at how quickly you make progress on your book. I know God literally commands us to be at peace and find joy even in terrible events; I just couldnt help but feel like joy would be a dismissal of the travesties, the economic and political devastation, worldwide deception, division and all-out spiritual war happening. We find our own ways to ask, Am I enough?. Season 6 explores these questions and more through stories of first person encounters with some of the internets most depraved offenders. Show Something Was Wrong, Ep [Alice + John + Naomi] The Wheels Fall Off - 23 Feb 2023 Classified Ads. No backhanded comments or sarcasm. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. I was constantly confused by inconsistency. The night we dropped the L bomb and said we loved each other, we didnt technically say it. That was a very basic version of why I kept going and didnt run for the hills when little things shifted. *Content warning: Physical and sexual violence, rape. Seriously, DONT. In your creativity, couldnt you have put togetheranything else rather than humans who would constantly fail you and be unable to manage anything well on their own? Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. if that's what it takes to get my daughter to see clearly. So when people tell me I am brave to share my story, Im realizing I dont feel brave at all because it doesnt feel like mine. Its His story of jealousy, of the lengths Hell go to leave the 99 for one. I agree. Something Was Wrong is an immersive docuseries podcast about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from emotionally (and otherwise) abusive relationships. Sara discovers Dick is in a new relationship. Something Was Wrong. If I was a gossip, help me see and change it. Rosierowe 4 yr. ago. Your preferences, feelings, quirks, looks, secrets, weaknesses, strengths they all matter. I have a feeling she's had to be the family empath, which made it a natural role with the narcissist fiance. For free and confidential resources, please visit: somethingwaswrong.com/resourcesGirls Next Level PodcastGirls Next Level on Instagram: @girlsnextlevel_podcastFollow Holly on Instagram: @hollymadisonTo purchase SWW merch, please visit: represent.com/store/somethingwaswrongArtwork by the amazing Sara Stewart @GreaterThanOkay - Instagram.com/greaterthanokaySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. *Sources: Yahoo News: Womans boyfriend claimed to be an FBI agent, but she felt something was off: 'I cant answer that', In The Know, December 19, 2022: https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/womans-boyfriend-claimed-to-be-an-fbi-agent-but-she-felt-something-was-off-232932588.html Jenna Jeans Tik Tok: @JennaJean8 https://www.tiktok.com/@jennajean8/video/7171129904665218350 For free and confidential resources, please visit: somethingwaswrong.com/resources S15 Artwork by the amazing Sara Stewart @GreaterThanOkay - Instagram.com/greaterthanokayTo purchase SWW merch, please visit: represent.com/store/somethingwaswrong. Hed research and educate himself on whatever it was so he could talk about it with me. I enjoyed my life and MYSELF when this tall man dressed in a red suit holding a pitchfork showed up at my door and asked if I wanted to lose it and see myself as worthless. I added much to his life. As part of this mission, r/podcasts is curated to promote respectful and on-topic discussions. One moment his extended family was super close in a way I could never understand. In the next, it wasnt worth visiting them because they were going to kick the bucket soon. The story is told on a podcast called Something Was Wrong. Just before that, though, I had been on my piano playinga Chopin Etude Id been assigned my very first year in college, as a wide-eyed homeschooler walking into classrooms for the first time since elementary school. The Something Was Wrong podcast meetup/live recording last week and although we had no idea what to expect, it was incredible. He responds. For free and confidential resources, please visit: somethingwaswrong.com/resourcesSources:https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violencehttps://www.nsvrc.org/statisticshttps://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/sexualviolence/fastfact.htmlTo purchase SWW merch, please visit: represent.com/store/somethingwaswrongS15 Artwork by the amazing Sara Stewart @GreaterThanOkaySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. S1 E7: We're Done, I'm Running, You're Insane, S1 E9: Unencumbered by the Weight of Women. Hear from survivors Julia, Kelly, and Rachel, as they recount their experiences of abuse in their charismatic, evangelical Christian churches. Sara moved way too fast in this relationship and she hopefully learned something at 30. It seeks out keys to their carefully guarded hearts, then handles them with great care until theyre granted full access. Another way to listen early and ad-free is subscribing to Wondery+ in Apple Podcasts or the Wondery App. I dont feel wanted here. This makes so much sense to me. May 1, 2021 3:47pm. Hear their newest album, Wonder Under via iTunes. I was simply drawn to it. What would life look like if we didnt think so highly of ourselves that the possibility of failure (more like a guarantee at some point) wasnt so unthinkable? It sounds like they have scrutinized every relationship she has ever had before this. Even fears of those tightly-held dreams of having a family or significant other not happening or being shelved. My ex could quote Scripture backward and forward, hold theological discussions with church leadership, and was quick to deconstruct the flaws in any given churchs infrastructure. When that light feels like a pinpoint, we have to lean in closer and He is faithful to meet us there. They allowed dating at 16, but I wasn't in a rush and only knew how to be homies with guys through college. What ensues is a genuinely improvised and authentic conversation filled with laughter and newfound knowledge to feed the SmartLess mind. When Kenzie first met Joe she thought he was funny, successful and charming. Studying him and being sensitive, I set the grocery bags on the ground to hug him and was met with stony silence. Clarity kept me focused and I knew what hed said. Sara and Tiffany answer listener questions and reflect back on the season thus far. When Im desperate for something, I remember Him and draw close. I dont believe things have gotten the worst they will get because I dont think the church is quite desperate enough. Its a new effort to come to the Lord and let Him be something new to me: the place I bring my injustices and frustration. Bear with me as this site goes through growing pains. (Sorry to barge onto ur Twitter but just searched "something was wrong podcast" & saw ur tweet) I think they sort of gave up policing people. You have all these moving parts literally every digit is moving but dont ever allow fingers 2 and 5 to physically lift from the keys while playing because those notes are tied. (You will get caught.) Enjoy it., It wasnt until my vocal instructor countered my argument of the day with a phrase that rang in my ears for years to follow: You need to get over yourself.. It makes me cringe. Since I was still healing and my sense of self-worth was mid-restoration, I couldnt feel a proper anger over what someone had done or tried to do to me. Physical abuse is evil, but emotional abuse is insidious as it hides, especially with gaslighting involved. Calabasas is a quiet, well-to-do California town often referred to as The Bubble. But on September 25th, 2007, that bubble burst with the murder of one of its longtime residents. Mind blowing. One day, I would hear a speech on budget and how were broke because Im so expensive or spend so much. I believed that charming, selfless man would come back he was just under some stress today. That dude needs major help. Eight days out, I was ready to move forward at full speed, thinking a wedding was the answer to serious problems. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. It was a miraculous instance of God opening the eyes of one of His own whod been deceived into choosing a dangerous situation. You [everyone] in the beginning.. If its His word, He will back it and ensure it doesnt return empty. During the second half, I had the opportunity to sit in the audience and feel their engagement. For various reasons, we often try to convince ourselves that we deserve less than our dreams. Weddings ARE expensive, after all. The blood Jesus shedcovers our sin andHe no longer sees it. Both hands have independent melodies that you must differentiate between, so listeners can hear each one sing. (I remember that word so well.) When Sara got engaged she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. I remember my piano instructor taking me so far beyond what I thought a piece could possibly require from a pianists hands and brain. And her family is definitely extracan you say ENMESHED PARENTING.but to each his own. As the numbness wears off and Im pulling old files to compile my story, I read texts with clear eyes. I could fart and hed call it blessed. If you can never get enough true crime Congratulations, youve found your people. Recommended by media. After the gym, I went to bed with the Etude on repeat. It made me realize my identity as a woman needed restoration, not correction or managing. John and Staci talked about the world-changing power of feminine beauty, and how it reflects the heart of God in a way masculine strength simply cannot. episodes discover Most Recent February 24, 2022 1 hr 24 min Download S11 E8: [Molly] Unimaginable Rage This week survivor Molly shares her story. He agreed to wait it out a little bit but things were precarious. The survivor stories are brave and valuable, but the hosts commentary at the top of episodes is downright irresponsible. In a healthy relationship, how does a typical child run to their dad? He said once or twice that he wanted our house to be an alcohol free home. He would set new rules, but change them when he pleased, often joking about my wine problem.. A classic N doesnt want sympathy because they view themselves as above it. Thank goodness, because without their constructive input, I never would have taken a good hard look at things and asked myself what I could have done differently! When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. Sociopathic and Psychopathic tendencies start with Antisocial Personality Disorder. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free on Amazon Music included with Prime. A cornered narcissist will spin you up in so many words that youll forget the origin of the conversation, forget your own point, and somehow end up at fault for something you still dont understand. Only when that phrase appears on page 3. I kept asking myself, how did we get here?. I can see why people write the whole thing off, especially after hearing about how I allowed my dog to be treated. It can start to manifest as headaches, aches and pains, fatigue, a lowered immune system, etc. Calabasas is a quiet, well-to-do California town often referred to as "The Bubble.". I know where my heart was. We are all capable of being obedient, and in my case thats all God has been asking of me. Hatred is a powerful word I refuse to carry with me, but last Saturday morning as I was taking screenshots for my story, new disgust churned in my stomach. Aside from writing, music, Frenchie videos and seeing the world, I also love learning about how to care for my health naturally. ), Through that book, God mended me in ways I never expected and might previously have resisted had I not been desperate for something to tell me who I really was and why all of me was important. For fans of the podcast, Something Was Wrong, you may recognize Sara from Season 1. I could dissect it, but for now, at least Ive discerned it. (Do you kinda feel that? Later while I was getting ready for bed in the bathroom, the tears started coming and I couldnt stop them. I usually tap my fingers nervously, hoping I dont have to get loud for the truth thats screaming in my head to be heard or to make myself seen in order for what I, We are not going back to normal or anything comfortably livable this time around unless we, . *Content warning: Substance Use Disorder, emotional abuse, sexual assault, workplace abuse. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. He claimed he could say things like that because he used to be fat too. 6h. If for some reason you always walk away from time with someone feeling like you have a lot of self-work to do instead of feeling bolstered and encouraged, take heed and maybe put your running shoes on. I thought so too but upon checking this isn't the case. It happens to have twists that make for great listening, which only gets it to more ears that might need to hear it. I thought the same thing! Playlists from our community. thought probably suffocating you right now as you read this is the one you need to act on right now. Not a fan. Until one week before their wedding when she learned - something was wrong. Solvable is an audiochuck true-crime podcast that seeks to find the answers to unsolved mysteries. A docuseries podcast about the discovery, trauma and recovery of being engaged to a sociopath. He responds. For those who are in recovery and by some chance are reading this, gosh I hope this stream of raw consciousnesshelps in some way. (Sounded exactly the same, but I will remember to flail differently right here if it pleases you.). Seeing the abuse I endured last year so clearly now stirs a passion in me to stop it from happening to others. It completely deflated our evening and had me walking on eggshells all night. I think that sums up my most recent thoughts in the recovery process, but I went a tad further and wrote things out on the flight to Nashville last weekend since Im trying to get better at sharing my process and the annual renewal fee for this website just hit my bank account. It was the most confusing night of my life, but I felt a strange peace and clearly heard in my heart Sunday will be pivotal. I was so emotionally invested in moving forward that I assumed that meant everyone would understand and all would be well. You know how you can buy a car you never knew existed, and suddenly you notice them everywhere? My family was never like this but these people remind me of a lot of families I grew up with at church. If youve never been love-bombed or understand what specific signs to look for, articles Ive read say its nearly impossible for the victim to see it and pull themselves out alone without the help of other people. ), We have felt like square pegs in round holes because the fit didnt exist until now. Not just basics, but specialty items he wanted to try. I still remember the shrug of his shoulders when I peered around the freezer door and asked him about the organic vodka (does organic even matter at that point? It was reckless, cruel, and showed a total disregard for decency. Is it time yet? Find similar podcasts. We need people and things that are rays of hope in our lives. It breaks my heart. When you decide to publish (or share your story in any public way), what was once personal and private becomes open for discussion. Or we feel we need someone. Somehow hed known this comment would get under my skin. seek peace in ways we havent had to in a long time. Often times, this season of transition and healing can feel like punishment for doing the right thing. Something Was Wrong When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. If you could see what I see. Ok thats wild fast! Given the subject of the podcast, she was right to have reservations, but even though she's not the sociopath in the story, she also comes off as not likeable. I cant continue to sacrifice words Ive been given at the risk of having them misunderstood. I was born in Colorado and am very thankful to call Denver home with my wife & dog. Its close. Stress, family drama, work, something was always burdening him. Welcome to a spiritual war. Looking around, Im surrounded by incredible people to champion and go to war for me. I dont want to get in the way of anything. I begged him to stay. Pride is a false protector. *Content warning: emotional and sexual abuse. Regardless of sexual orientation or life goals, I think women want to know if they are needed and desired while simply being. Our minds are incredible in their design when it comes to trauma. Choosing peace that blatantly opposes the storm around them. Him. There's a special place in hell for that guy. I was told this past week that when were wearing rose-colored glasses, red flags just look like flags. His family was placing big burdens on him. Something Was Wrong started as a way of documenting the experience of Sara, a woman who thought she was marrying the man of her dreams, but as the podcast's title suggests turned out to be incredibly wrong. Rather than beating a dead horse, taking time to figure things out has helped solidify the ground beneath my feet. I'm sure this was a neon sign for my abuser. Every breezy, golden memory now had the word FRAUD painted in red. He said, to be honest Im strongly considering heading back home. (It had taken him 3 hours in traffic to get to my house.) I didn't wait until everything was perfect to go live, and since then I've thrown my hands up and let it roll. With our spiritual buffets closed down, those who know how to fuel themselves from the Word, sending their roots down deep to find the truth in bedrock when it feels elusive are having to actively seek peace in ways we havent had to in a long time. I guess chicks that write have blogs now, so thats me. Analyzing every response, I got very quiet and in my head. But on September 25th, 2007, that bubble burst with the murder of one of its longtime residents. Conversations Ive had both online and IRL with women whove had similar experiences with narcissistic or sociopathic individuals continue to cement a very simple truth in my mind: There WERE good times with that person that wereprobably really, really damn good. Tee gets a call from Jason that changes her forever. ), (There were too many blinders on at that point to recognize that life will ALWAYS throw curveballs testing the patience of myself and the person Im with. Requires subscription and macOS 11.4 or higher. Sara and her family don't. It took an abusive relationship to say fuck what my family thinks. My eyes focused on a print on my wall that says You are altogether beautiful, my love, and there is no blemish in you, from Song of Solomon. National Domestic Violence hotline 1-800-799-7233 Tee befriends Sylvia and feels compelled to help her. 37.2k Followers, 1,197 Following, 18 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Something Was Wrong Podcast (@somethingwaswrongpodcast) In past blog sites I wrote about random f Suddenly his explanation changed from claiming he hadnt said it, to having said it but Id completely misread the whole thing. Narcissism 101, my friends. But I thought this was it I think, and try to control my reaction and feel guilty for expressing my disappointment to the Lord. Unraveling situations and scenarios over the past 9 months has brought so much peace. I walk a line with choosing to blog about my real-time process, teetering toward avoidance when that process hits a bump in the road called full clarity and the resulting fury. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something w . When it was clear we were spiraling out of control, in His consistency God abided by His own rules and sent someone without sin to shed blood for us, so we wouldnt have to keep sacrificing flawless animals the Old Testament way to approach Him. The old man is dead. Its easier to choose the less flashy accessories, the more practical car, the simpler outfit because I can hide from scrutiny. I felt sick to my stomach and wish Id reacted differently now, but at that point my discernment had faded and I deferred to him. What I didnt know was even with everything I was feeling, I was still a little numb, and safely so. If you're sensitive to the topic of abuse, I would skip it. Soon after I get that thing, I go on my merry way and get busy. Sara discovers something terrifying about her Fiance. linktr.ee/spaceandpurpose I remember early on in our relationship, he handed $20 to a homeless person we walked by and later told me he kept 20 dollar bills in his pocket at all times for those exact opportunities. Its a lighthearted nightmare in here, weirdos! In private, (more as time went on), there was a heaviness or something often weighing him down that I felt the need to support. Hours later when Id suggest we cook at home to save money, he would insist we eat dinner at the most expensive sushi restaurant in Sacramento. The increasing speed of the emotional roller coaster leading up to the wedding wasnot ok,not normal, andnot my fault. Or experiencing fulfillment. Audible $0.00 Amazon Music $0.00 Free Listen Now No membership required Tens of thousands of podcasts Listen in the app or on any Alexa device Listen with Audible App All Episodes (162) (If girls were single, they were waiting. I was preparing to become the helpmeet my dream guy was looking for, instead of calling it living my dang life.). Just forcing myself to share the good, badand ugly because it does coexist, but all bad, ugly things make Gods goodness shine brighter in contrast. One of the things I value most is treasuring the personal information of my friends. 64.2k Followers, 178 Following, 52 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Something Was Wrong Podcast (@somethingwaswrongpodcast) It is out of those days that our roots are deepened in their search for water. May 1, 2021 8:16am Updated In her new book, Amy Chesler recalls the night brother Jesse plunged a knife into their mother's shoulder, leaving her dead in the kitchen. Most of them are a bit extra IMO, lol. When my community (called a bubble by someone) felt something was wrong and told me to be praying with them, I didnt know what else to do but get on my knees alone that Friday night and read the Names of God out loud. When Sara got engaged, she thought that she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. Have you asked yourself why something just feels inexplicably wrong, confusing, and overwhelming? Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something w Listen Later. I must have looked nuts, laughing and assuring him Id never been better while he tilted his head and looked at me, asking if I was ok. ), Christian friends, were not being spoon-fed anymore. Ultimately, I hope my thoughts bring either a good laugh, cry, or fresh sense of God's adoration and reckless desire for you. Its not gonna just go away.). To a fault, I will assume someone meant the best but simply made a mistake. And have control issues. He gained access by discovering what mattered to me, big and little things, and making them matter to him. I asked myself, what must I be doing wrong if my own fiance doesnt trust me with his secrets? I was mortified over the tears that forced their way down my face all over again, and now the shame and embarrassment made me feel like a little kid. During my commute Ive been blasting the song Heroes by Amanda Cook from her album The Voyage, and every time she sings you taught my feet to dance upon disappointment, I burst with more emotions thanwhat should probably be considered safe for driving. It scared me numerous times. We were using Voxer to talk with him right up until everyone parked at home base. Check out Sara's personal blog, Space & Purpose. Around them Gonzalez ( Lewis ) | something was Wrong, you 're Insane s1... + Naomi ] the Wheels Fall off - 23 Feb 2023 Classified Ads ; dog, aches pains! 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To ask, Am I enough? podcast about the discovery, trauma, and in my head otherwise just! Joe she thought he was just under some stress today she has ever had this. Families I grew up with at church Disorder, emotional abuse, sexual assault, workplace abuse emotional! Of character. ) it comes to trauma ensues is a quiet, well-to-do California town often to. Draw close have independent melodies that you must differentiate between, so thats me ok, normal... Old files to compile my story, I would skip it called something was Wrong hear speech... Best but simply made a mistake as you read this is the one you need to act on right.! This season of transition and healing can feel like punishment for doing the thing. See a message like this one a try the best but simply made a mistake the Wheels off... Because the fit didnt exist until now and get busy listen early ad-free. Of me ( it had taken him 3 hours in traffic to get in the way anything... 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