You look flushed! How are urinals made functional? Warning: Proceed with Dew Caution! And not surprisingly, kids love poop jokes. I am terrified of people who urinate quietly. Why were there balloons in the bathroom? We know somethings up when we smell that sulfur-like odor, and its awkward to ask who dropped the bomb. What is the most popular type of bathroom jokes in Denver? Why did the guy take a urine test today? 3. Heard the person who invented the urinals was very young. Why didnt the Tenth Doctor like potty training as a kid? Both will come out when its time for them to come out. Whos there? The man takes out his false teeth and bites his right eye. In the baaa-throom. Theres a lot to be said in his favor, but its not nearly as interesting. What's the difference between a podiatrist and an urologist? . We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. If an anonymous comment goes unread, is it still irritating? Captain Hooky. Fart jokes and toilet humor are things that are loved by kids. Q. A. My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. Q. So youre the one! ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales. Q. Wanna hear a poop joke? Why didn't the urology student finish his studies? How does a logician explain why long lines form at the restroom after a movie? The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. Small son sitting on Daddys lap: Im still confused. I guess you could say its a pet peeve. ", She rolled her eyes and told me that one was a real stretch. What do you call an obese weatherman that studies penises? 2. A. Poop who? Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? I pleaded, "no you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost when I go in the middle of the night I can hear a ghost sound then when i open the door I feel the cold as it swoops through me and the light comes on automatically." She only poops in the garden under the plants so we call her Poopie Plants! What does Woody say when he has bad gas? Why does the urologist just dread his job some days? Because they have two left feet. ", She replies, "Well, there's a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. A guy is going to open a business with the money he got from his donation at the sperm bank, because now he's got a little seed money. If you're here for pee jokes, urine luck. Q. What is the opposite of urine? 37. A. Why did the chicken go to the seance? The Batroom, Say Ihop ness: i made you eat your pees:. Because if you fail it, urine trouble. 6. I never knew what happiness was until I got marriedand then it was too late. Stinker Bell! A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. Here are some funnies you can share with kids. Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). You're out! #1 Point to Ponder: When pee jokes are not funny, why don't we get pissed off? These urinals would be terrible to sit on!" My mother was so surprised when I told her I was born again. 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, We know that this is not something that we should discuss at certain situations but we cant help but laugh when we talk about it. Youre looking flushed. Q. Do these genes make me look fat? 3. It became a problem because it kills the flowers. I love my toilet. 40. Why was Eeyore down the toilet? WebWhat did one toilet say to the other toilet? Well, thats the point, isnt it? She was a party pooper. School your ass. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! 26. 41. Shampooed. And I'm making dinner, so can you please deal with this? The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. 58. 33. WebToday the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. Please fill in your e-mail so we can share with you our top stories! 5. The egomaniac holds the light bulb while the world revolves around him. Wanna hear a poop joke? Why does Spider-Man make sure to always flush the toilet? Q. Nah, they always stink. What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus A company that performs tests on urine samples turned a large profit in the last several months. A. 78. The waiting and anticipation for the punch line after the word who excites them and admit it or not, it excites us, adults, too. Before a long day of relaxation, cats like to indulge in their favorite breakfast, Mice Krispies. Yo mama so fat when she sat on the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me. The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. Why did the soldier refuse to flush the toilet? Why didnt the toilet paper make it across the road? A. It needed to be changed! Poop-corn! What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A. Required fields are marked *. Ctrl+P We've been through a lot of shit together. How did the hospital basketball league end the season? I just hate when theyre too corny or run on. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish Everyone told her that they stink. Funny, its all over town. We dont judge them. Nobel. Did you hear about the constipated composer? A large fortune. Statistician: a person who draws a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion. Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." Toilet paper. Two men walk into a bar. I ran out of toilet paper, so I used newspaper instead WebTop 20 Jokes about Pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. Because it was afraid of its bark! What is the name of the surgery where a man gets a penis enlargement? Not a joke Wear Depends! Patty OFurniture. Eventually he ran out of cups and has one left. 15. Q. Can't you pee that you're pissing your mother off? The genie grants his wish. 48. Me: did you know that you can't hear willow ptarmigans go to the bathroom. "Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore.". Why did the parents not like their sons biology teacher? Now, we aim to connect you to the kid inside you by compiling these lists of the nastiest and smelliest dirty poop jokes. 88. A. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? A. 1. Come in tomorrow and well have a chat about this. The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him. A. Urine Luck. the racing snail that got rid of his shell? Q. The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. A. #2 will surprise you! 39. There was a birthday potty! 11 r/dadjokes 6 comments u/Beergelden Kids will surely love it! What do you call a bear with no teeth? My father is allergic to cotton. Funny one-liners. Yesterday my doctor told me my chronic diarrhea is inherited. No? WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. Did you hear about the statistician who drowned while crossing a river? To get to the bottom! . It got stuck in the crack! Why is the cat so grouchy? It was three feet deep on average. Q. Q. 4. Everyone has an embarrassingly funny experience with poop. 81. I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. What did the Puma say to his friend who was making poop jokes? Score: 0 What bird might be a member of the finch family, has a six-foot wingspan, and makes your pee smell funny? What do you call it when a racehorse has diarrhea? What do you call two guys using the same urinal? Warning: Proceed with Dew Caution! You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. You're in for a workout. 'Cause he was already scared stiff! Q. He couldnt budget. When all of a sudden everyone within earshot started giggling, I knew it was a gassy poop. Whats something great about poop jokes? Q. Unless you have diarrhea. Bathroom is a place where you dump everything dirty in and out of your body. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Did you hear about the constipated accountant? What is the difference between orthopedic doctors and urologists? Why did the bakers hands stink? A. Urine. Anybody with you? Subordinate Clauses. What did one kidney say to another at the gym? To see a mans true face, look to the photos he hasnt posted. WebWhat did one toilet say to the other toilet? If you arrest a mime, do you have to tell him he has the right to remain silent? A. At which school did Sherlock Holmes get so smart? Knock knock. What is the name of the new medical facility that is both a sperm bank and urine analysis center? My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. 71. 9. Q. Bowl-ing! Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? Q. What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? A. Urologist's team came in #1, but proctologists were a solid #2. Whether tis nobler in the bladder to suffer the slings and arrows of painful retention. Q. What did one DNA say to the other DNA? So mind your pees in queues. 93. What do you call a hippies wife? We've collected the best of urine sample jokes and puns just for you. Q. Q. What do you call diarrhea that you get from Dominos? Knock, knock. Because he was looking for Pooh! Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. What do a man with diarrhea and an electric car owner have in common? To cover their butt quacks. WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. Please sign up with your best email address. Because it was stuck in a crack. 57. Q. Wanna hear a poop joke? email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. Doctors say 4 out of 5 people suffer with diarrhea. How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? Because that's where all the cocks hang out. Their paws. 96. Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and #1 toilet humor. At the BP petrol station! 5. 53+ Funny Quotes by Famous People 2023 (laugh-out-loud! Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 Read More 45 Hilarious Pee Pee Puns Punstoppable. Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? If you subscribed to this subreddit for pee puns, urine luck my friend. Dung. He never reads any of mine. Why didn't the guy have to take Viagra after visiting the haunted house? Shampoo. Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. Q. Score: 0 What bird might be a member of the finch family, has a six-foot wingspan, and makes your pee smell funny? With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! He kneaded a poo. Just a phew! Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a44c17e5426fca8114c44941b9ba386d" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. If you take $2 out of an ATM that has a $2.50 fee, do you owe the machine money? Ecology teacher: does anyone know how to pronounce the name of this bird? A poodle! You look flushed! Keep it flush with the wall. A dirty double-crosser. To get to the bottom! Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 Q. 54. We share them in our weekly newsletter. The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. 38. 1. Pee Point to Ponder: Do funny urine jokes piss you off? Q. Why couldnt the pirate play cards? What happens when you miss the toilet bowl? Yes, our bird feed has been infested with more bird feed." 11 r/dadjokes 6 comments u/Beergelden It was clogged. 35. Where do bees go to the bathroom? ), 50 Funny Bitcoin Jokes That Will Increase Your Investments. Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! An arm and a leg. Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. What do you call a magical poop? But theyre a solid #2. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. Whos there? I spotted a lion at the zoo the other day. Because its his doody! 22. Captain Hooky. Q. 1. Knock, Knock! Laugh more here: Hilarious Horse Racing Jokes. I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. 23. Q. A. Urologists only work on one bone. 2.Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? See you in the Email! How does a guy cancel an appointment at the sperm bank? more like dad revelations. Makani Ravello Harrelson Has Acted in Movies - Facts about Woody Harrelson's Daughter, Does Bailey Zimmerman Have a Wife? What did Frosty the Snowman say to the dog who peed on him? I feel bad for toilets. What's Pee-Wee Herman's favorite Michael Jackson song? If you pee on them they disappear. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. To make it to the bottom! Why don't men install urinals in their bathrooms at home? You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. 13. One of the oddities of Wall Street is that the dealer, not the customer, is the broker. Because he was sitting on the deck. Our child has a great deal of willpowerand even more wont power. 2. Knock, knock. WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. 2. I heard a couple guys laugh and others going 'oh for fuck sake mate! Because he was stuffed. When the urinal said, "You're full of shit," what did the toilet say? Q. They smell funny. What do you call a pirate that skips class? A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. A. 2. Theyve been treating me like one of the family, and Ive put up with it for as long as I can. Where's the p, A. 3. 2. 1.Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? How many DIY buffs does it take to change a light bulb? 4. The kind of music you should play in a toilet paper and boulder party is rock and roll. And, oh boy, is this good. Because he was sitting on the deck. They were negative. We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. WebPee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! Because the P is silent! 101 Jokes And One Liners For Kids! Advice to husbands: Try praising your wife now and then, even if it does startle her at first. My IQ test results came back. Its funny just saying it. 85. Laughter is the best medicine. 3.Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road? We've collected the best of urine sample jokes and puns just for you. But theyre a solid number 2. A. What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus What do you call a bathroom superhero? Can't you pee that you're pissing your mother off? Urine Jokes, Funny Pee Puns, Urologist Humor (Because Mellow Yellow Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream and Pee Puns May Make You Go with the Flow!) We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. Why did the toilet roll down the hill? The reason some politicians like to stand on their record is to keep voters from examining it. You know, if you pee in the swimming pool, urine trouble! When bears poop in the forest, the smell is un-bear-able. A few minutes later My friend told me that he got a new job testing athletes for drugs in the next olympics. They get installed. I saw a big cat wearing a very colorful hat and cape the other day. I used to believe that all things must passuntil I got stuck behind a school bus. Your kidney stone test came back. He agents thinking I didn't see him come in with a guide dog or a stick so the agent says deal. Q. Incidentally, he did have to pass a pee test to get his job. 1.Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? Why did the toilet paper fail to cross the road? WebA blonde woman came in for a routine physical at the doctors office. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. What do you get when you accidentally take a poop in your overalls? A urinarrator. And then she giggles. Theyll make your cheeks hurt. So he and his lawyer get to the IRS's office and sit down and the agent said there has been a large amount of money flowing in and out of your account and we wanted to know if you knew anything about it. Because all his patients are dicks. Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! WebA man walks into a bar and says to the barman: You see that glass at the other end of the bar? Hes at the hospital getting checked for rabies now. I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house but the kids still get in. Have you seen the movie Diarrhea? On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. He told her, "I'm good, but I'm not sure I'm ready to compete.". Europe who? Love is like a fart. Parents are clueless on what to do with their little ones but we got you. 3. What's it called when you use a pay toilet in France? A lot of people do have to urinate after a movie, and thus there is a long restroom line. What do you call the guy at the casual shirt factory who counts the inventery? I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! 32. Q. Did you know a banana is really good against diarrhea? We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. 89. They both deal with a lot of crap. Because that's beneath them. He worked it out with a pencil. Q. How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? Q. Q. Yeah, they got him on possession. 3. As I was working, I was listening to Parliment Funkadelic on Pandora and I came to the realization that I was listening to P-Funk as I was dealing with pee funk. Did you hear about the urologist and psychiatrist who opened a practice together? What did one DNA say to the other DNA? Do these genes make me look fat? 3. 99. One, but it takes two weeks and four trips to the hardware store. ", Where does the Batman go to pee? Nothing, it was on the house. 52. 97. There was a birthday potty! Stop making me laugh or Ill puma pants! If youre an American in the sitting room, what are you in the bathroom? It runs in your genes. Today I learned that diarrhea is hereditary. 101 Jokes And One Liners For Kids! Looking for jokes about the urinary system? Funny One-Liners 1. Are you looking for more? Through the grapevine. 'Cause the Pee is silent. What happens if you fall into the toilet? Why does Piglet always smell bad? Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. How many people does it take to make the bathroom smell? Why is sperm white and urine yellow? Diarrhea can drain you your energy and its no fun at all. 17. 59. Laugh more here: Funny and Flirty Woman Jokes. Besides this, we highly recommend to check out my 30 favorite dad jokes. We apologize if Painful Puns urine jokes make you laugh so hard that you pee a little bit. Our bag of bird feed has been infested with beetles. 79. 3. 'Cause he had a wee bit of a problem. Use these one liners at your own risk. Darn tootin'! One dark stormy night when i was 8 years old I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee, half asleep i walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . A. There you go," said the nurse as she handed her a urine cup. Poop Puns One Liners. Whats brown and sounds like a bell? 66. An apostate feelin' your prostate. Poop. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? Nobel who? WebThe man says, imma just teac. 4. A. Did you hear about the film 'Constipated'? Conscience: the small voice that makes you feel smaller. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with a slow Internet connection to see who they really are. the claustrophobic astronaut? 3. Son: No, not yet. Nope. A. A guy saw a penny in a urinal and wondered what they'd wished for. What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? Then turn to these bad jokes that you cant help but laugh at, short jokes that anyone can remember, and for the little ones, short jokes for kids. A. A. Your email address will not be published. A. Its not a pleasant feeling in the stomach and if you find yourself sitting on the toilet and waiting for something to drop then at least get loose to these jokes about pooping instead. A. From some more innocent, cute jokes to the cheekier ones, take a look at these! Why dosn't the urologist accept patients that live on islands? 25. So Im sure youll like them. Euro-pee-an! Did you hear they arrested the devil? Just finished peeing when my wife comes in and asks: "Did you just piss without flushing"? 3.Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road? They call it Franks and Beans. Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. 'Cause they go oui oui all over the house. WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere.
