We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. No film critic's going to say it, but 'Madagascar 3' is better than 'The Artist.'. My sister was getting married, man. “ Before we even get started, let’s — you know, hey, the elephant in the room: President Trump’s in the hospital from COVID, and I just want to say my heart goes out to COVID,” Rock said. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. I used to hang out with grandfather all the time because he used to pick me up from school sometimes, or drive me to my mother's, so I'd be with my grandfather a lot. Do you know what the good side of crack is? I had tickets to Coachella, man. But what about all those niggas waiting outside with guns? Enjoy the best Chris Rock Quotes at BrainyQuote. I came to (Los Angeles), stayed at hotels and stuff. I was bused to a school in Gerritsen Beach in Brooklyn in 1972. Who's judging American Idol? And I bought a red Corvette for $45,000 dollars. If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special. Things like not being buzzed into a store or sitting in first class on a plane and having someone ask to see my ticket four times. That should be the name of my new DVD: 'Chris Rock: Slightly Above Hack'. Help us to expand our database and send best quotes from Chris Rock you know by using the form below. You can share any bit of funny information, piece of trivia too or tell a story about this comedian here too! Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders. People are starving all over the world, what do you mean, "red meat will kill you"? But right now there's no rehab for stupidity. “Now, you know,  the world is insane right now,” Rock added. I'm just above a hack. I'm just above a hack. Do you know any other Chris Rock quotes? Yeah, I love being famous. I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. When I start to do stand-up, that's not my true personality either. Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to. and Chris Rock exchanging jokes with multiple instances of a racial slur was uncovered Saturday, spreading like wildfire across social media and triggering outrage. the Machine this year, man. I was one of the first black kids in the history of the school. A black man failing black history... ain't that some sad shit..... cuz you know, fat people don't fail cooking! When I hear people talk about juggling, or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they're crazy, because 'sacrifice' infers that there was something better to do than being with your children. Help us to expand our database and send best quotes from Chris Rock you know by using the form below. School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man. Music is the soundtrack to the crappy movie that is my life. Old footage of Louis C.K. During the season premiere of NBC’s “Saturday Night Live,” guest host Chris Rock opened the show with a monologue that took a jab at President Donald Trump over his COVID-19 diagnosis. Every day I come in here — I haven’t had so much stuff up my nose since I shared a dressing room with Chris Farley. After I left high school and got my GED, I studied broadcast journalism for a year at a community college. A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage. We all used to have plans before COVID. Anything you can suck at should make you nervous. I paid Bel Biv Devoe $80,000, man. School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man. He dedicated Chris Rock: Never Scared (2004), the recording of a stand-up performance he did at Constitution Hall in Washington, D.C., to the memory of three people: his father, Julius Rock; Monteria Ivey, comic radio personality and announcer for The Chris Rock Show (1997); and Stan Sandler, father of his friend Adam Sandler. I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!'. I know 200,000 Americans are dead, but I’m not seeing Rage Against the Machine this year, man. It's like, hmm, there's people with $2000 weaves that could have bought health care with that weave money. I'll go back to comedy clubs when they get a real no-camera policy, the same way they did with smoking. And I guess that is a reason we have this big credit card problem and a lot of these foreclosures. But no one counts that. Maybe they should. I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. Taxes didn't even come into my equation. Who's judging American Idol? If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. I'm thinking, 'I've got 45 grand left!' Quotations by Chris Rock, Comedian, Born February 7, 1965. At the end of the first year of making 90 grand I was 25, 30 in the hole. My sister was getting married, man. No, don't eat no green meat. Every junkie did soda first. Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. No quotes? And I can’t get it back. Being with my kids is the best, most fun thing; it's a privilege. If you lucky enough to get your hands on a steak, bite the shit out of it! No worries! I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them. I'm never proper or careful, but I never curse in front of my mother, either. My first year on 'SNL', I made $90,000 dollars. We need bullet control! Black people dominate sports in the United States. That is a travesty.”. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty. When I got back and I saw what my neighborhood looked like, I started getting scared.

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