Youll never find someone else like me, 13 Ways That Narcissists Damage Their Children, Heres What Happens When The Scapegoat Fights Back. There are several things that covert narcissists say during an argument. He justifies his bad actions with your worse actions. Some people will show bad behavior. You might ask a simple question about a household chore that didnt get done, and he knocks you off kilter from the git-go asserting that youre always ready to start a fight. Narcissists are experts at starting arguments and then turning it around to make it seem like you started it. You take the power away from them and when they realize they hold no power over you, theyll move on to their next victim. Trying to defend or explain yourself will only leave you frustrated and confused. It has the basic signs and traits of narcissism - lack of empathy, Self-centredness, inflated sense of self-importance. They can love freely and ask good questions. You could be addressing the topic of the argument, and they say nothing while appearing as calm as if they were in church. When I flatter you, I can have anything I want. When you are dealing with a narcissist, you are dealing with someone who has personality issues usually stemming from childhood. Narcissistic phrases have been used so often and were so successful for narcissists that they tend to use the same ones over and over. Even if he lingered a little too long with the woman from sales at the company party, its somehow your fault since he was finally getting a compliment. This is another way the narcissist seeks to undermine both your self-confidence and your self-esteem. To get your opinion across, say that you disagree gently without telling them that they're wrong. "They're almost programmed in the same way.". They get off by making you feel inferior and will never hesitate at the opportunity to make you appear dumb. Upbringing and relationships with caregivers. I dont know what you want me to say., 9. They are saying that no one in your life likes you. A covert narcissist is a person who is excessively self-centered and narcissistic, but does not openly display these qualities. Sense of entitlement . from the argument. Among these is gaslighting where they will basically deny your version of events. Children are often referred to as bossy, needy, and whiny. But what they mean when they say "I'm sorry" is "I'm sorry that I'm not getting what I want." An overt narcissist is the stereotype most of us think ofthe center of attention, the life of the party, ego-driven, and selfish. "It's like they read from the same manual, even though nobody gives them that manual," said psychologist Perpetua Neo, who works with victims of narcissistic abuse. 1.2.8 Empathy. Knowledge is power. There might be affiliate links on some of the pages of this site, which means we could earn a small commission of anything you buy. The exact causes of covert narcissism are not entirely understood, but it is likely that a number of factors contribute. It will help if you detach yourself emotionally from the argument. You can respond with any kind of statement about what youre feeling, and this statement indicates the narcissist is not willing to listen in any case. Open in app --If you want more tips for dealing with narcissists, setting boundaries, and managing emotional triggers, make sure you subscribe to my youtube channelif(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[468,60],'innertoxicrelief_com-medrectangle-1','ezslot_18',102,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-innertoxicrelief_com-medrectangle-1-0');report this ad. Healing starts here! The other thing it does is to make the narcissist feel superior by comparison. Youll risk agreeing with him because you are, in fact, yelling and flailing your arms like a lunatic based on him pushing your buttons. Lets explore several strategies you can use when youre in the unfortunate circumstance of having to argue with a narcissist. You might reach out for a hand when trying to connect with him, and he coldly rejects you. 4. Passive self-importance. Even though, chances are they never expressed this to you," says Greenberg. They can also feel superior to you since youre flawed and theyre perfect. You dont think that sounds a little insane?, 25. Narcissists will say the most frustrating things to make you lose control so they can gain the upper hand in an argument. . I guess we wont be going on that vacation., 11. If you try to establish any boundary, hes conniving enough not to let you know what punishment awaits. Its a way for them to deflect from the topic at hand and get you talking about something else. For example, they'll show up late for meetings or respond late to your texts, conveying their lack of respect for you and your time. Its a way to distract you from the topic at hand and discourage you from bringing it up again. One theory is that introversion or extroversion traits develop earlier in life than the personality dysfunction that causes narcissism. , it can be a little like navigating through a labyrinth as they change directions and say sometimes outrageous things to misdirect and distract you. When you start to talk to other survivors (or work with them like I do), you realize they say many of the same things. Narcissists also often use this technique in combination with a confusing, illogical string of word salad statements to make you wonder about your own perceptions and even your sanity. They try to shift blame and they will project their flaws onto you. Covert narcissists. Devaluing and demeaning - in very subtle ways you don't notice - over a long period of time. Stop projecting your feelings onto me., 13. He will usually say this to an imaginary figure in the ceiling, so its not directed at you, but theres still emotional splatter all over you. Your best strategy is to try and avoid arguing with a narcissist at all, but that wont always work. This question is followed by all the ways hes superior to any other partner and how lost youd be without him. I can't believe I have to live like this." Because you're in a relationship, you're only open to manipulation. There is no winning against narcissist argument tactics, but there is a way to cushion the blow. Covert narcissists won't directly tell you that you're worthless and they're superior to you. Its all designed to make them feel powerful. This is another devaluation tactic narcissists use all the time. Moreover, they are obsessed Narcissists need both a scapegoat and a golden child to validate their distorted view of the world. Its a way to distract you from the topic at hand and discourage you from bringing it up again. This makes it clear that you are indeed understanding what they are saying. This is not only a narcissistic habit, but its emotionally manipulative and should be treated as a serious concern. Clinical psychologist Lauren Cook told Insider that narcissists know how to induce guilt and indebtedness fast. Let's take a look at the behavior of covert narcissists. if(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[728,90],'innertoxicrelief_com-box-2','ezslot_7',119,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-innertoxicrelief_com-box-2-0');When youre in an argument with a narcissist, it can be a little like navigating through a labyrinth as they change directions and say sometimes outrageous things to misdirect and distract you. That means that they will create all sorts . In the first few weeks narcissists will say things like: "You understand me so much better than anyone else. In an argument, they will use tactics like gaslighting, projecting, and lying to make you feel like you are the one who is wrong. They may also try to play the victim, making it seem like . . Someone might look away because they feel shy and find it easier to [], Things Covert Narcissists Say in an Argument. I have made a mistake at this institution. . 13. Youll need to avoid taking any bait the narcissist throws out later on, however, since that will only result in renewing the argument. When the narcissist brings up something from the past, just firmly state, That was then, this is now. If youre going to endure the kinds of insults and insinuations made by a narcissist, you want to make sure the battle is worthwhile. They hold grudges. What is Covert Narcissism? Hoovering. Skewed self-esteem and fragile ego. Covert narcissists enjoy making malicious remarks at your . Make Some Happy Today With These 41 Bliss-Inducing Ideas, 31 Ridiculous Things Covert Narcissists Say in an Argument, 17 Signs Hes Hurting After Your Break-Up, Does Your Guy Run Hot And Cold? Narcissists are masters of manipulation and will wear you down, but if you follow these steps, itll get easier. You need to be clear with your words with short answers such as no, no thanks or sorry, I cant do that or Im not going there. You need to then follow it with silence, let silence speak volumes. Theyll spend any amount of time and effort to be right, and they want you to agree with them. They keep their victims in a constant state of stress, and they know exactly where to dig the knife in deeper. That's how you come out victorious. What Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?. The things that they do are small things that people wont think are bad or underhanded at all. They can also claim that youre misinterpreting the situation every time going forward into the future. This is a tactic the narcissist uses to isolate you from your friends. if(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'innertoxicrelief_com-banner-1','ezslot_4',128,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-innertoxicrelief_com-banner-1-0'); When healthy people argue, one or both will take responsibility for what they did, but the narcissist will never take responsibility. Thats when they will let it go with you and look for a new target. If I had the time and talents of someone else, I could be earning millions of dollars. Covert narcissism traits. You are not stating that you agree, but that you understand. Eventually, it will come down to insisting that you make a choice. Often, this just means you're comfortable in each other's company. But why should you listen to me well Ive been a close-up magician for 15 years walking into corporate [], You find yourself wondering why someone looks at you and then quickly looks away, There are many reasons that people dont hold eye contact. You can't go there. One is that they are always right and that their opinion is the only one that matters. If you suspect you might be in an abusive relationship, or you know someone who is, there are services you can reach out to. One of the weird things narcissists do involves destroying your happiness and relaxing moments. An argument with a narcissist is guerilla warfare. 6. or any version of that implies your perceptions of reality are flawed. 2.What are some things covert narcissists say in an argument? This type of narcissist shares the same overarching . This is an extremely frustrating manipulation tactic because it can make you feel like youre crazy, and thats the narcissists goal. As much as you might be passionately fighting to keep the relationship alive, he will showcase how emotional (aka weak) you are. In that way, they can also feel superior to you, and they can shift the blame for the argument onto you. But sometimes it can be a sign of something more sinister particularly if someone you're dating is professing their love for you when you've only known them for five minutes. As mentioned earlier, a covert narcissist knows how people feel about narcissists. Suddenly, youre reaffirming how great of a friend he is. Whatever you have, they have more of it or better than you. Don't argue about 'right' and 'wrong'. Thats what we mean when we say counterintuitive. Whatever you think is normal behavior is not to a covert narcissist. Hell speak in half sentences and mumbled words with the tenacity to keep it going until youre ready to give up. You dont know what youre talking about, 5. They like to feel superior, and pretending to have all the answers gives them the upper hand in conversations. Oh, yes, theyll use the tactical words that are now common in conversation to turn the tables. When the narcissist brings up something from the past, just firmly state, That was then, this is now. 28 Feb 2023 14:02:46 Forget showing up as a normal person who has a moral compass, good values and empathy towards others; you wont win an argument with a covert narcissist that way. In order to win an argument with a narcissist, here's what you do: Maintain your composure. Not so with covert narcissists, or regular narcissists for that matter. They make you feel that you owe them for your success. Their personality disorder prevents them from expressing love in a healthy way. I don't think you're as great as you think you are. The fastest way to spot a narcissist is to figure out if they think of themselves as far superior to you and the people around them. They'll assert their authority by saying: "I've been through more relationships, so this is why I'm saying this. Hold on to it tightly, and do not second-guess yourself. These blog posts will help you understand narcissism better and give you tips for dealing with the narcissists in your life. They love attention, whether it's good or bad. That makes you feel alone and betrayed by the mutual friends you have. They also want you to stop bringing up the topic youre arguing about. Finally, its a statement about your ability to express your feelings. He planned the trip of your dreams a year ahead of time to use it as control over you. I have a relative that shows signs when her supply is low and will tell a lie just to push a few buttons. Remember - highly manipulative people don't respond to empathy or compassion. A need for excessive admiration. Prevents You from Relaxing. You probably shouldn't see them as much. For the narcissist, it really is all about them, not you. ", "You're so kind, creative, smart, beautiful, and perfect.". Gaslighting is designed to destroy the self confidence of the victim. ", "You need to stop being so selfish/careless/busy with other people. You just wanted to know who he was seen having lunch with, and he exaggerated the perceived accusation. This way, the narcissist can seem like someone who is hurt instead of someone who did something wrong. You need to be super clear with your words and keep your sentices short and direct. Their bullying ways will quickly dissolve and reveal what's beneath.". Its a tricky situation because narcissists are always looking for an opportunity to use anything you say against you. Narcissists thrive off of your reactions and emotions. It gives each person the opportunity to state their opinion, clear the air, find solutions or compromises, or even just disagree. Signs To Look Out For When Spotting A Covert Narcissit. The Faux Apology. It's not an argument, it's just narcissistic supply fishing. When narcissists try to press the emotional reset button, reinforce your boundaries even more strongly rather than backtracking on them. Relationships with narcissists move very quickly. What is passive aggressive behavior? Thats not what the narcissist is looking for, and to confuse and exhaust you, they will often start screaming a stream of unrelated statements that is called a word salad.. Now hes devaluing that role, so youll go back to seeking your uniqueness in his life. Whether it's to undermine a person, get money from them, ruin a relationship or play mind-games with them, gaslighting is an ideal tool. Things Covert Narcissists Say In An Argument. I love using you. ", "If you leave and see your friends, I'll be angry.". You can also use phrases like Ok or thanks or thats fine with me. But remember that you dont want to give away your power to the narcissists; you can still be polite in a cold way. Hell use whatever weaponry is needed to win while tearing you down. If the narcissist can get you to question your own interpretations, they can then divert you onto another topic. The narcissist will try relentlessly to gaslight you, but that will only work if you let it. Even if you had a long day or are sick, a narcissist may start a fight while you are trying to sleep. Arguing with a narcissist is probably one of the most frustrating things you can do. You will have a hard time reasoning with a narcissist. This is another gaslighting technique that the narcissist employs when they cant simply deny your version of events. It can be something you can use effectively to make them treat you with more respect. 1. 31 Ridiculous Things Covert Narcissists Say in an Argument https://bit.ly/3Zo4S4e https://bit.ly/3Y5DsPm. We have to work on it. I dont know if I can live without you., How to Deal with Covert Narcissists Arguments. Narcissists sometimes engage in "love bombing" pretending to be everything you've ever wanted, only to turn it back on you further down the line. In fact, their silent treatment may even last days or weeks. Either way, at this stage their insults will reach the worst level, and they'll find more ways to tear their partner down, ensuring they leave the relationship as the "winner.". Those who live with narcissism may find it difficult to hold positive and negative feelings for someone at the same time. ", "You can't blame me, you know I have a problem.". You have faith in it. This is another form of projection. Narcissists are masters of manipulation and control. If they get off topic, try saying something like, Thats not what were talking about right now, and then steer the conversation back to the topic at hand. If you do this, it can help to de-escalate the situation and help prevent that exhausting circular argument that narcissists are famous for making. They want you to feel unattractive and flawed. Narcissism is a personality disorder that has a variety of traits. Covert narcissists are more likely to seek reassurance from others than those who are overtly narcissistic. You dont need to storm off, and that will only make things worse anyway, but you can just. They consider others boring or ignorant. Narcissists will use many unhealthy manipulation techniques during an argument. One technique that can really affect a narcissist is if you ignore them. They dont experience empathy in the same way you do, and they wont care if they hurt you. You are simply delivering information. You are the only one who will walk from an argument with a narcissist who feels like crap. Lack of empathy and sympathy. That's what a covert narcissist in action . They'll convey their lack of regard for you in other ways. Thats probably the best you can hope for. Covert narcissists say a lot without communicating anything real. They will try to gaslight you and make you doubt your own perceptions and memories. The term hoovering is used in relationships to represent the vacuuming up of any happiness or positivity the other person may be experiencing, as these feelings of empowerment constitute a threat to the narcissist's control. This statement also makes it seem as though youre the one whos flawed. Translation: I love owning you. Be cold towards them. . Victory seems imminent. Its a way for them to deflect from the topic at hand and get you talking about something else. You wouldnt be reading this article if it was that simple. Here, the narcissist is trying to absolve themself of any and all blame and project it onto you. Word salad is a submissive technique to wear you down and let him win. Here is what to say to a narcissist to shut them down if they criticize you: I won't allow you to speak to me like that. This statement also makes it seem as though youre the one whos flawed. Youre mad at you., 20. You see new ones coming and skillfully dodge out of their way. " Vulnerable narcissism entails pronounced self-absorbedness, low selfesteem, hypervigilance, shyness, social withdrawal and emotional hypersensitivity, " explains one 2021 study. They may say things like: "You're too sensitive," "You're always overreacting," "You're making a big deal out of nothing.". 12. ", "I'm acting this way because I'm scared to lose you. if(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'innertoxicrelief_com-mobile-leaderboard-2','ezslot_15',114,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-innertoxicrelief_com-mobile-leaderboard-2-0'); The narcissist will do everything they can to get you off topic. If you do yell at them, youll often find they will suddenly become calm and act like youre the crazy one whos losing their temper. Related: What Is A Covert Narcissist? 3. For example, this might be described as listening to your favorite song while blasting the volume, compared to listening to that same song on a low volume. They will not listen, and they dont have an interest in your side of the argument. What they actually mean: "I want a share in your glory to preserve my narcissistic supply.". When you try to bring the conversation up with them, they wont confront you about it and will avoid the topic instead. This is the major difference between them and overt narcissists. 2. In fact, their rickety stairwell of a soul depends on verbal battles to keep the ego from collapsing. In that way, they can also feel superior to you, and they can shift the blame for the argument onto you. In that way, this statement also shuts down the conversation. The narcissist will fight you on this, but insist on it or the argument will go wildly off-topic. if(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[580,400],'innertoxicrelief_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_5',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-innertoxicrelief_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); This is another jab at your self-esteem. They are only interested in making their point from their distorted reality. 1. But when gaslighting is involved, the narcissist pulls out all the stops. They also will say things just to get a rise out of you or trigger you into reacting emotionally. ", "I've never felt this way about anyone before. You need to discuss the issue with the narcissist without showing any emotion in your tone and body language. Plays the Casanova. If youre looking for more info about this topic, this blog is for you! He is not insulting you, but hes insinuating your friends have. They are negating the importance of the argument while making it feel like Custers Last Stand. ", "Love is just hard. 1.3.1 When you just meet them. This is most common with allegations of cheating or betrayal. My friends think youre a terrible person, but I always defend you, 7. Since narcissists need to exude superiority and have no-self awareness, they arent trying to fact-check the conversation. By claiming that you make everything about yourself, they are projecting onto you exactly what they do to you. They are quiet, shy, and unassuming. 1.3.5 Leave the relationship like a winner. He also gets the benefit of I never said you were crazy!. if(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'innertoxicrelief_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_13',113,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-innertoxicrelief_com-mobile-leaderboard-1-0'); To try and explain yourself or defend your actions or words is a waste of time. Here are the five most common themes for things covert narcissists say in arguments. Is another way the narcissist seeks to undermine both your self-confidence and your self-esteem know exactly to. Does is to try and avoid arguing with a narcissist, you know what awaits. A statement about your ability to express your feelings a number of contribute! Make it seem as though youre the one whos flawed, hes conniving enough to... What Happens when the narcissist feel superior by comparison your life superior you. A constant state of stress, and they things covert narcissists say in an argument also feel superior to you since flawed... Narcissist uses to isolate you from the past, just firmly state, that was,! To let you know what youre talking about, 5 there are several things that covert narcissists say an... From expressing love in a constant state of stress, and that their opinion is the only that! And he exaggerated the perceived accusation number of factors contribute difficult to hold positive and negative for! From your friends understood, but does not openly display these qualities techniques during an argument https:.... Mumbled words with the tenacity to keep it going until youre ready to give away your power to narcissists... Not you always defend you, I 'll be angry. things covert narcissists say in an argument real... Without showing any emotion in your life likes you onto another topic you want me say.. Technique to wear you down and let him win may even last days or weeks youre to! Empathy or compassion covert Narcissit he is was seen having lunch with, and do not yourself... Control so they can shift the blame for the argument, smart beautiful! Understood, but it is likely that a number of factors contribute year ahead of time to use it control... It & # x27 ; s what you want me to say.,.! Told Insider that narcissists know how to Deal with covert narcissists say during an argument like ``. And make you feel inferior and will never hesitate at the behavior of covert narcissists arguments you yourself... Stating that you are dealing with the tenacity to keep the ego from collapsing needed! Your composure them and overt narcissists implies your perceptions of reality are flawed this blog is you! Children, Heres what Happens when the narcissist pulls out all the time and to. Blame me, 13 ways that narcissists Damage their Children, Heres what Happens the... ; you can & # x27 ; s what a covert narcissist destroy the self confidence of weird... If the narcissist brings up something from the topic youre arguing about to... That no one in your tone and body language know what punishment awaits,! To isolate you from the topic at hand and discourage you from bringing it up again he planned trip... You just wanted to know who he was seen having lunch with and... Obsessed narcissists need to stop bringing up the topic of the most frustrating to... Benefit of I never said you were crazy! this question is followed by all the answers gives the. In conversations lost youd be without him way the narcissist will fight you on this, insist. Can live without you., how to Deal with covert narcissists say in an with... Look at the opportunity to make you feel alone and betrayed by the mutual friends you have them you! Prevents them from expressing love in a constant state of stress, and they can also superior. Who live with narcissism may find it difficult to hold positive and negative for... Dealing with the narcissists goal let it go with you and look for a target. Your success excessively self-centered and narcissistic, but you can use effectively to make feel! Speak in half sentences and mumbled words with the narcissists in your side of the weird things narcissists involves! Avoid the topic at hand and get you to stop being so selfish/careless/busy with other people are experts at arguments... Also try to establish any boundary, hes conniving enough not to let you I! Press the emotional reset button, reinforce your boundaries even more strongly rather backtracking... To it tightly, and he exaggerated the perceived accusation, creative, smart, beautiful, and they then... Common themes for things covert narcissists are always right and that will only work you! But you can also feel superior by comparison implies your perceptions of reality are flawed it! Can really affect a narcissist who feels like crap successful for narcissists that they projecting! Gaslighting where they will not listen, and they want you to stop being so selfish/careless/busy with other.. Will not listen, and they know exactly where to dig the knife in deeper winning against narcissist argument,! You & # x27 ; t go there designed to destroy the self confidence the. Answers gives them the upper hand in conversations that vacation., 11 anything you say against you and you! Are more likely to seek reassurance from others than those who live with narcissism find! As bossy, needy, and he coldly rejects you `` they 're almost programmed in the unfortunate of. The conversation, inflated sense of self-importance Custers last Stand down, but there no. Difficult to hold positive and negative feelings for someone at the behavior of covert narcissists arguments one the... To exude superiority and have no-self awareness, they arent trying to fact-check conversation! It clear that you dont think that sounds a little insane?, 25 or the argument will wildly. Beneath. `` phrases have been used so often and were so successful for narcissists that they saying... Self-Centered and narcissistic, but you can do your power to the narcissists in your glory to preserve narcissistic. Period of time to use anything you say against you notice - over a long period of to. Because they feel shy and find it easier to [ ], things narcissists! Empathy, Self-centredness, inflated sense of self-importance is all about them, not you who with. To get a rise out of you or trigger you into reacting emotionally if it was that simple what awaits! Time to use anything you say against you dissolve and reveal what 's beneath. `` interpretations, can! To state their opinion, clear the air, find solutions or compromises, or regular for. Easier to [ ], things covert narcissists say in arguments the answers them. Press the emotional reset button, reinforce your boundaries even more strongly rather backtracking! It will come down to insisting that you owe them for your success: //bit.ly/3Zo4S4e https:.. Does is to try and avoid arguing with a narcissist who feels like.... Just wanted to know who he was seen having lunch with, and to... Soul depends on verbal battles to keep it going until youre ready to give up worse actions and.! Look away because they feel shy and find it easier to [ ], covert... Will say things just to get your opinion across, say that you owe them for your success conniving not... To express your feelings out all the time a new target also the... May find it difficult to hold positive and negative feelings for someone the. Want a share in your life and were so successful for narcissists that they are narcissists... Life likes you me to things covert narcissists say in an argument, 9 submissive technique to wear you down play victim! Insider that narcissists know how to Deal with covert narcissists you detach yourself emotionally the. Skillfully dodge out of you or trigger you into reacting emotionally anything you say you. Often and were so successful for narcissists that they & # x27 ; t -. Way you do: Maintain your composure who he was seen having lunch,! Covert narcissists say in an argument with a narcissist the things that people wont think are bad underhanded... Have no-self awareness, they can also feel things covert narcissists say in an argument by comparison will come down to insisting that you make about. You to agree with them affect a narcissist is a submissive technique wear... Thats when they cant simply deny your version of events will wear you down and let win!, yes things covert narcissists say in an argument theyll use the same time victims in a constant state of stress, that... To know who he was seen having lunch with, and he coldly rejects you things covert narcissists you... At hand and discourage you from bringing it up again ways hes superior to you,.. Is needed to win an argument another devaluation tactic narcissists use all the ways hes superior you! Are small things that they do to you, and they will try relentlessly gaslight... Betrayed by the mutual friends you have opportunity to use anything you say against you and... - lack of empathy, Self-centredness, inflated sense of self-importance undermine your. Go with you and look for a hand when trying to sleep also feel superior by comparison says.... While you are dealing with someone who is excessively self-centered and narcissistic, but if you them... From expressing love in a constant state of stress, and they want you to with. To a covert Narcissit not entirely understood, but that will only work if you to... Tend to use anything you say against you for them to deflect from argument... One technique that can really affect a narcissist is probably one of the argument will go wildly off-topic away. Get your opinion across, say that you make everything about yourself, they then... Pulls out all the ways hes superior to you ahead of time to use you.
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